"Rick Perry Lures Washington State Residents to Texas with Thriving Death Penalty," is by Andy Borowitz at the New Yorker. Here's the beginning:
Responding to the news that Washington Governor Jay Inslee had suspended the death penalty in his state, Texas Governor Rick Perry seized on the opportunity to urge Washington residents to “vote with your feet and move to Texas, where the death penalty is thriving.”
At a hastily called press conference this afternoon, the Texas Governor made an emotional appeal to Washingtonians who might be disappointed by the sudden suspension of executions in their state: “Come to Texas. The death penalty is alive and well here.”
Earlier coverage from Washington State begins in the preceding post.